"मेरी कल्पना"

आँख खुली तो अँधेरा था,

देखा चारों ओर, एक अजीब सन्नाटा था

उठी नज़रें आस्मान के ओर

सफ़ेद चाँदनी सा अँधेरी दीवार से झाँकता सा नज़र आया

दिल ने प्यार से उसका नाम चाँद रखा था

रिश्ता सा बन गया था उस रौशनी से दिल का

अपनी रौशनी के कोहरे से मुझे चादर उढाता था

पर कुछ न कहता बस मेरी कहानी सुनने, हर रात वह आता था

सब सुनता प्यार से पर न जाने क्यों

दिन होते ही वो कहीं चुप जाता था

पापा था मुझे कि उसे तो जाना ही है

पर ना जाने क्यों यह पागल दिल दीवाना सा हो जाता था

शायद पूरी रात किसी को खोजता

पर जब कभी हिम्मत हारता था

दो पल आंसू छुपाने बादल के पीछे चिप जाता था

जाना उसली मजबूरी था ओर उसे पाने कि जिद मेरी मजबूरी

बस इतना सा फ़साना था

आज भी क्यों यह जिद नित्यता की हद में

सच्चाई को तलाशती रहती है?

ज़िंदगी क्यों चाहत के घेरे में अपने को असमर्थ पाती है?

क्यों ज़िंदगी के पल

आंखों के आंसुओं की तरह बहते रहते है?

क्यों यह भावना शब्दों की तलाश में

अपने को अर्थहीन पाती है?

चाँद तो फिर मही आता है हर रात,

मेरी भावना का आदर करने

पर बस मेरी ही कल्पना तड़प के रह जाती है

जब यह रौशनी मेरा चाँद फिर मुझ से चीन के ले जाती है....

~Neetika

"Just a thought"

(Got the idea while listening to the song -Vazhga (Movie: Kadhal Virus)..Awesome composition by maestro AR Rahman)
A guy waiting for his best friend "MOON"...
When the moon comes, the guy starts talking to him as usual " So my best friend you have finally come. Today, I have got something special to tell you.Something which will be a knockout on your pride...
You were always proud of your Chandni, your life, your everything...right??? Every night you used to come with a pride holding her hand and used to taunt me
" Today i got mine..
I saw her... "
You are very proud of your girl's white light right? But my girl's appearance is like lightning, like flash...She has so much in her. Her eyes are like water, some sea. If I'll drown in them, I'll never be able to come out. When clouds come, they hide you and your chandni but when hair fall on her face she looks more beautiful. Her beauty becomes immortal.
I know that every morning you both cover yourself under the cover of sunlight and forget the whole world and talk. I too want to take her to the point , which is the end of the world and will talk and talk and talk ..I will tell her all the stories of my lonliness, all my pains.
Will open every corner of my heart in front of her.
I know that she will listen to me and will heal all wounds with her words and love
Am happy today, Very happy!!!

~Neetika

Journey back ...

After a long time I thought of being silent for sometime.It was so noisy outside, screams everywhere .So, I just closed all my doors (shut my eyes) & here i am, walking back to where i started from...

Climbing down the stairs, very dark here, some very strange bad smell here.I searched everywhere for my best friend , very lovely, always happy, always chirping, friend of mine.But where is he?Oh! i hear some weak breathing somewhere.Some low scary sounds you can say. Ah!! Here is he.Lying down(or fallen down) at one corner...

Oh my God!is that you?Are you sure or you killed my friend and took his place?He replied, look properly, its me "YOUR HEART" noone else.Meek,weak, bleeding..there he was hiding at one corner but what happened I asked!!!

A tear rolled down his eyes as i kept a hand on his shoulder . I was scared and i tried to remove my hand, he cried and said 'Please dont leave me this time'. But what happened as I asked again and whats this blood everywhere!!!

Dont u remember dear??? It was you who was always stabing me unknowingly and finally i collapsed. The moment you left me and joint hands with your intelligence and brain, I was left far behind.

duties came ahead of your wishes!I cried alot for the love of my own but you didnt give an ear to that. U suffocated me to such a level that i even started to argue and kinda became a rebel to you and that was the time you won the battle, you broke some part of me and used it against myself and once you succeeded you used this technique always. I kept on calling you, you never heard and a time came when i was broken in to the same number of pieces as many relations you have (your loved ones)...

And then a day came when God punished you of your sins. He took away all other wishes of yours. He took all your loved ones away from you and the pieces of your heart you had broken for them fell somewhere. They all were left just like piece of meat with no life left in them.Only am left half alive, half dead still waiting for you to love yourself, May be it will heal me abit. Listening to all this, I could not control my tears. I wanted to speak alot but words were not coming out of my mouth.For the first time i felt the pain of my heart. And my Heart, seeing a ray of hope asks me to come back home. But how to explain to him that no doubts those pieces are like dead meat, they cant speak, they cant react, they cant move but they can still feel the pain...The Extreme Pain, Pain of guilt, Pain of separation, Pain of betrayel, Pain of death.

i want to throw them all somewhere and come back but they dnt leave me, they dnt leave me..

they are being dragged whereever i go...bleeding...leaving traces of blood all the way...

"Here my heart takes the final sigh and goes back to his state before. The state where he is so helpless as it has reached the deadend and here i am running everywhere to atleast open few windows to get air for my only friend but all in vain as there are no windows left, all turned to stone walls .

& I silently come back to this noisy world. May be this noisy world will ease the pain in me a bit...